Sunday held a somewhat awkward sermon about sex in marriage from our pastor. Sex has never been anything close to awkward with my husband, but sitting there in a room full of other couples in church listening to that sermon was a little uncomfortable. Honestly, uncomfortable sermons are sometimes where I find my biggest lessons, treasures, or convictions.
I have been transparent about my youth in Christianity. I am not a religious scholar and I certainly do not know the Hebrew word for a lot of things. That being said, a verse I have read and heard a hundred times struck me with a new understanding.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh
I have always understood the physical part of this verse. I’ve known that sex was meant for marriage and was a big deal. What I really, honestly had never considered is the spiritual side of this verse. Spiritually, Robert and I are one. We are no longer two separate entities.
A few years ago, I would have scoffed at this. I was an independent, unique individual after all. Now I have to give that up? No way, dude.
After being married and learning about what that status means to God, I have a different take on it. We make decisions together. We tough things out together. We put aside selfish things. We consider the other person even when it doesn’t feel very convenient.
That sermon hit differently. I had a deeper understanding of scripture. My husband and I are one flesh. That is not a small or easy task. It takes work. Some days we rock at it and other days we could really follow a page out of the ol’ Matthew play book.
Yesterday my husband asked me to join him on some work errands. Ugh. I had some projects to work on, dinner to cook, laundry to do, and I was tired from my two mile walk. I heard “two will become one flesh” in my heart.
I agreed to go. We had a great time. We exchanged ideas on my projects and created a game plan for his schedule. We laughed and sang to the radio. We flirted and held hands. The man even bought me some craft materials.
I considered past times when I have declined his invitation to join him in mundane responsibilities of running a business. What all had I missed out on? There was time and moments and oneness that I could not get back. I never want to miss out on any of that good stuff and it always astounds me how perfect God’s design for marriage actually is.
Married Mama, my hope if that even through your exhaustion and lengthy to-do list, you find time to be one flesh in every way. There is treasure there.
Unmarried Mama, my hope is that you learn a thing or two well before I did! I hope that your understanding of relationship doesn’t fall into the late bloomer trap that mine did.
Being one with my spouse has not caused me to belong to myself any less. I am very much my own person. I have my own ideals, hobbies, plans, and convictions. Through God’s perfect marital design, I have actually learned to be my truest self without sacrificing the unity in my marriage. Nothing is perfect and days can be long, but God’s biblical calling over my marriage has always prevailed.