Robert and I have been working with the boys on the difference between “I didn’t do it” and “I didn’t do it on purpose”. They can say, “I made a mistake.” That makes me proud!
We talk about the importance of owning our truth and our actions. THE WHOLE HOUSE apologizes, admits fault, and hugs it out- even the grown-ups. I am not above saying “I am sorry” to a six year old.
We do not want to raise the kids to be grown-ups who remain stuck in the same scenarios, circumstances, behaviors, and thinking. The grown-ups I know with this unfortunate affliction are runners. They are incapable of growth and change, so they flee their consequences or circumstances. They try to manipulate their way out of what they have deemed as undesirable by shifting blame.
I would rather put in the tough work now with time-out and no TV than to have to watch the kids stay stuck as adults. I would rather deal with being the “mean mommy” or hear the huffs and puffs than to watch them recreate the same cycles with different players. I would rather teach them to own up now instead of run when they’re adults.
We do not want to raise entitled, chronic victims who have limited choices as grown-ups because they burn every bridge they ever cross. We want to raise strong people who can see themselves with honesty and be proud. We want to normalize owning their own mistakes, so that they can make them without feeling like one.
We hope that they understand that they will not always be right, but they can always be accountable. Accountability helps build trust and ensures growth. It helps EVERYONE move forward. We want them to have lasting relationships and so many open doors to choose from when they are all grown up.
The phone is mine tonight, so that he has a real shot at the rest of his tomorrows. 💪
– The Mean Hot Mess Mama-