June 10th

Song of Solomon 8:7:

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.”

Yesterday was the most magical day of my life. I married the man of my dreams. Every disappointment and heartbreak, every choice I made, every single risk I took led me right to that altar. That altar and that man. Those children and that family. It was magical, but it was not magic. It was all part of a plan. A plan that even I could not dream up…and I am crazy, y’all. I can create all kinds of scenarios!

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There were vows that were taken, speeches given, stories shared, and families joined. There was music, tears, laughter, and even little boys playing. There was dancing, great food, beautiful decorations, and so many people that we love. There was him, my husband!

The day was full of nerves. I woke up with butterflies. I was anxious and I was terrified of being the center of attention. My bridesmaids were incredible and helped get me ready and make decisions. They talked me through every move.

My oldest step-daughter, a bridesmaid, had numbered notes to give me with a timeline to follow. Her dad had given her specific instruction. At every destination leading up to the church I was given a note. They were funny and sweet. I would take a deep breath after each one. He was with me the entire day.

My husband has a way of calming me. I don’t know how in the world he does this, but he does this in a way that only he can. I’m a horribly nervous and obsessive people pleaser, so you can imagine the wedding pressure toying with that faulted personality! I was so worried about guests. I get so wound up sometimes, but that man has some secret method of unwinding me.

Every note, every text, every reminding whisper from him led to another exhale. I knew that even if there were hiccups or panic attacks, my husband was there.

But he wasn’t my only reassurance. I started my morning like any other, with scripture. I prayed heavily during the weeks leading up to our wedding day. I prayed for everything from the kids feeling equally special, to both families feeling involved and included, to the guests having fun, my make-up and hair lasting, my bridesmaids being happy, my vows being good enough, the donuts to be a hit…can you hear the obsession and nerves? Well, He did.

Even through the breaths and the unwinding, my nerves were running high. Lessened, but high. I continued to pray that entire day. That day I prayed for peace and calm. I waited. I waited through a racing mind and speeding heart.

I heard the processional music start and watched my smiling family and friends parade down the aisle. I tightly held my father’s arm and he squeezed my hand the way he does to say, “You’re ok.” Then the Bridal March began and with it complete calm. I have never in my life experienced the abrupt ending of such an intense, internal storm. It was the craziest thing.

The moment I should have been the most anxious was the very moment I felt the most serene and strong. God was there. I just looked at my groom, at our children, at that cross and kept walking. Joyfully walking!

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Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you

My favorite person married me. He married me! Our beautiful children were precious. Our pastor was supportive and personalized a very traditional ceremony. Our families were present and loving. My husband wrote me a song and surprised me with it during the ceremony. Our seven year old cried happy tears. The boys looked so sweet with their ring pillows and bow ties. Even the oldest sang!! Everything was stunning. It was possibly every girl’s dream.

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My wedding day was magical. But it was not full of magic. It was full of God. And why wouldn’t it be? Afterall, this was His plan all along.

Jeremiah 29:11 (my favorite if you can’t tell)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

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Ecclesiastes 4:12

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

 

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