I was in a job interview one time and the lady interviewing me asked, “What makes you special?” I had completely nailed that interview up until that moment. My mind was racing. My heart was pounding so hard it was all I could hear.
I dug deep. I mean I was thinking hard. I vaguely remember sweating. It was humiliating. I had nothing. I think I very eloquently answered with something like, “Look, I will work really hard and I won’t steal anything.”
I left knowing there was no way that lady was going to hire me, but what really bothered me was not being able to see anything about myself that was special. I truly couldn’t come up with one characteristic that set me apart from anyone else.
I have spent most of my life being compared to other people (and I wasn’t the greater than). I had lived so long in the shadows of people I would never be that I couldn’t see my own light. It was pretty darn pitiful.
Sure, I had talents and hobbies. I liked to sing and I liked to write, but those weren’t things that made ME “special”. I immediately took to soul searching. Soul searching often leads to scripture searching for me. There is so much corruption and dishonesty in the world and in my own thoughts, so when I am looking for answers or solace, I go straight to God’s word.
Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.
I mean, if my creator took the time to figure out how many hairs to put on my head, I would have to be of a little worth, right?
Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.
He gave me life. He gave me purpose. He gave me something special that only I could give the world.
It is hard to look at yourself in the mirror without really seeing yourself. It makes you wonder if anyone else really sees you either. I read those verses and those words convinced me that there was SOMETHING that made me special and different…just like everybody else.
It was my responsibility to myself to figure out what qualities and gifts I had that only I could give. It’s been a process. A lot of times my “special” qualities can be my biggest character flaws when intensified. It makes it tricky to figure out what causes me to be special and what makes me a downright looney tune. It can be hard to see positive and personally distinctive qualities when they can sometimes be burdens.
I kept looking at myself and into my heart to find something unique. I prayed about it. I tried a lot of new things. Slowly I discovered the things about me that made me ME. I found my own light. I can proudly say that if I am in an interview again and I am asked, “What makes you special?” I will have an answer.
“I can talk to anyone and I do. I care deeply about people. I want to help others any way that I can. When I help people accomplish a goal or get through something hard, I feel pure joy. I see the good in every heart I meet even when it is not obvious. Even if I can’t stand a person, I can always sympathize for them. I love hard, I care hard, and I invest hard…and I won’t steal anything.”