Pressure

So, a funny thing happened recently. My fiance and I were at Walmart getting groceries, which meant restocking his Dr. Pepper. While in the self-checkout line, I was handing him one bottle at a time to scan. I’m not really even sure how it happened, but when I grabbed the last bottle it hit the cart at just the right angle and BOOM.

The bottle had the smallest puncture in it, but the pressure of the carbonation sent the perfect geyser towards some very shocked and innocent bystanders. I couldn’t stop it. It just kept shooting straight towards the poor people next to me. I tried to cover the hole with my hand, but it just shot towards the floor. It was everywhere.

My fella and I were laughing hysterically and I was apologizing incessantly to my poor victims. Finally, he stopped laughing long enough to get me a bag to put the busted soda bottle in and the situation was contained. We giggled as we helped an employee clean up the mess.

Let me tell you, this was a first…with soda. I can’t even begin to explain how many times pressure builds up inside me and the tiniest puncture causes the biggest mess of things. I don’t really mean to let it happen.

I tell myself I will process what I am feeling after work. I will get on the other side of this when I’m done cooking dinner. I will let go of this feeling by truly expressing it when the kids are all asleep. Before I know it, I have fallen asleep, bottled it up and am walking around with it for weeks. My intentions are good, but the stuffing is still happening.

The bottling and stuffing doesn’t last though. It never does. Punctures happen. They do not have to be big, but after all that suppression they feel like I have stepped on a land mine. I spill my coffee and cry like a baby. Someone cuts me off in traffic and I am cussing like a drill sergeant. My family starts a chorus of I need or I want as soon as I walk in the door and I think I am drowning. A teenager gets irrationally upset and I feel like a complete failure as a parent.

There is pressure. It all begins with whatever shortcomings I am dealing with. It starts with a resentment or hurt feeling I don’t talk about. It’s because of a disappointment or unmet expectation. It is feeling taken for granted. It is feeling insignificant. But mostly it is a from relying on the wrong source of strength.

1 Chronicles 16:11

Look to the Lord and his strength;
    seek his face always.

If there is one thing I am grateful for, it is that Heaven doesn’t have working hours. I don’t have to wait for Heaven to open for me to take things to God. He is there all the time. Prayer truly works wonders. Sometimes just articulating what is wrong with me or what I am facing lessens the load. I may not always get clues or answers on how to fix things, but I know that I have at least acknowledged my feelings and released some of my pressure.

God can take it. I can trust Him with all of it.

When I first came to believe, I knew a lady who would tell me that I could start my day over at any time. She said it didn’t even matter if it was 10 o’clock at night, if I needed a reset I could have it. I just had to turn everything over to God, say a prayer, breathe, and choose to try again. I had to surrender and let go. It was His now. I didn’t have to wrestle with it anymore.

1 Peter 5:7

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

People are wild cards. We all are. We fall short. God is the constant. He is the rock.

Hebrews 13:8

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Pressure can break through at any moment. It can spew all over our lives. It can shoot those around us. It can burst our spirits. Pressure can also be decreased. It can be lessened by surrender and prayer. It doesn’t have to make a mess. But if you’re punctured, do not be discouraged. Even a mess can become a message. God can speak to our hearts through anything. Even Dr. Pepper.

 

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