The Bullet

I once knew an old man named Johnny. Johnny was a product of the older, tougher generation. In his days there wasn’t television or tablets or video games to entertain you, so you had to find your own adventures to occupy your time. I guess you could say he was pretty creative.

Now Johnny had a wild streak in him in his younger days. His brothers would join him in wild excursions to the woods behind their house. Apparently one of these afternoons in the woods led to the brilliant idea to hit a few rounds of their daddy’s ammunition with a hammer.

A few times of being uninjured and they were pros. This became a weekly tradition. They would holler and roar with laughter until THAT AFTERNOON came to pass. Apparently, Johnny slammed down the hammer and ended up with a bullet, or at least a decent sized piece of it, in his chin.

Johnny would cackle telling the story because somehow they hid the incident from both of their parents. Johnny said he held onto that bullet for years. He said it was so lodged in his chin that there was really no sign of it. He would smirk about all of the metal detectors he set off and said he figured he would have “that sucker” forever.

One day when Johnny was shaving, he heard a loud clanking sound in the sink. He looked down and there she was, the conversation piece herself. It was the famous bullet in all her glory. I never knew when Johnny was telling me a tall tale or the truth, he was pretty consistent in his insanity  (which is what I liked about him). He wasn’t always easy to read. I loved his stories nevertheless and would find myself laughing about them days later.

This bullet had been so deeply embedded in his face that he carried it around for years, most of the time not even noticing it was there. I have to think about the things embedded in me, the things I don’t even notice anymore.

I can’t tell you how many times I get jealous of women with perfect bodies. I mean especially ones that can eat whatever they want without gaining a pound! I am so envious of mothers who get to work from home. I’m so distraught when I see people get blessings that I am working so hard for.

I get so wrapped up in why I am not good enough. I get angry at people for not doing what I think is best. I get so upset about things I cannot control. I hold grudges about all sorts of things from the past.

When I am aware and quiet enough to notice these little nasties, I am appalled at what is stuck inside of me. I’ve got a whole case of spiritual bullets living within me.

Psalm 43:3 

O send out Your light and Your truth, let them lead me; Let them bring me to Your holy hill And to Your dwelling places.

I can always turn these bullets over to my Higher Power. The great thing is I don’t have to wait years to shave them out. I can go to my Father every single day and pray for Him to remove these spiritual defects. I’m not perfect, but my guess is God is probably an expert surgeon and can remove them all. I just have to wait and let him. Like all major surgeries, it will take time to recover and heal. I’ll have to learn how to live and move again without them. But, oh, what a life that would be.

 

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